Two little sweethearts!

We have been keeping the sweetest secret for over 3 months now. Daniel and I are overjoyed to announce we are expecting twins come July 2016! We are deeply, madly in love already.

It happened quickly, and was clearly meant to be. We knew we wanted a family long before we quietly said our vows on July 31, 2015. Only 3 months later and I eagerly stayed awake as my husband left for work at 5:37am, to be exact. Palms tingling with excitement, I threw over the covers and padded off to the bathroom. Knowing good and well it was a bit too soon to test, but the two lines were there and my eyes brimmed with tears. I drove to work listening to my beloved fall mix cd, hand over my flat belly in disbelief. That specific string of slow, hushed tunes will forever evoke the most magical emotions in me. Every song will remind me of these past few months.

It was a secret I kept safe all day. I tucked the test in my purse and pulled it out methodically to make sure the positive line was still there. For hours I tried to wrap my mind around the precious thought that only me and the life I was growing inside knew of each other's existence. In the whole universe it was my baby and me -- a thought so intoxicating and a feeling I will cherish always.

Oh I was so nervously excited to tell Daniel! I showed him the test that night and we just both looked at each other and smiled with tears in our eyes. We wanted to shout it from the rooftops, but kept the secret to only be revealed through knowing glances, hushed conversations at home on the couch or in the pillows, a casual stroll through the baby sections of stores or a firm hand on my belly to let the tiny life inside know we are here. We know of you and love you so deeply already.

After telling our family on Thanksgiving (tears and joy all around) we had an early first scan at 6 weeks. Staring at the screen, the lab tech was quiet as she zoomed in on the wondrous little flicker of a heartbeat. There it was! A little blinking orb of the life inside me.

And then there was another blinking orb. 

There were two little forms next to each other and two precious heartbeats. Two!!! It was the best surprise of a lifetime. People talk about these things in a "wouldn't that be cool?" fashion, or, 'how cute would that be?" but never does it happen, right? But, it did! It made us want to keep this beautiful gift only amongst our closest loved ones for longer. Of course, twins. Of course. It was them all along. Since we were just 17, our love has been bigger than anything I have ever known so of course our little blessing was doubled.

My darling husband, that wonderful man. He's been the most gracious to me and it makes me so happy to see him so excited. He's so gentle with me -- he wants to know everything and reads about our pregnancy online. While I didn't struggle too terribly with nausea during my first trimester other than a few bouts every day, and though I didn't get sick once, I did have trouble with being interested in food at all. Nothing seemed appetizing and I was never hungry. With my strange cravings, which will be a post of its own, I think, and some protein shakes, he made sure me and our babies were fed. There were times I think I physically morphed into the couch from extreme exhaustion -- immobile and warm, but restless, and he understood.

He's always been everything I ever needed and he always just, vibes with me. We are in the house buying game at the moment, and if there is one thing triggering my weepy pregnancy hormones, especially during this second trimester, it's that. But he knows how to hold me and he knows what to say so it's not so scary. I love him I love him. I love him.

I am definitely showing now at 14 weeks and 3 days. I look down with sheer wonder, mostly in disbelief, how my body is home to our children. It's providing everything our little ones need to grow. That truly is something --  my body can do this, and is so automatically embracing. It is sure and nurturing and strong. My womb is home to the divine. I am in awe of my body, of all of its changes -- every growing curve, every slight ache and twinge. Because every bit of it is my babies and I love it all. And oh, my sensitivity. I was born with a sensitive heart and it has swelled astronomically over these past weeks.

I see life through a rosy filter and I am never alone -- it is quite the overwhelming sort of consciousness and I am loving every precious moment. I am journaling, I am dreaming, I am creating -- these two sweet souls are bringing out the best in me, and it is all for them. Two separate lives who will always be together no matter what. I just want to kiss their fingers and toes, noses, smell their sweet hair and ears. Feel their warmth. I am so eager to be their life source, their sun, their loving protector.

Their mama.