25!

A few snaps from my birthday weekend. Absolutely spoiled by everyone I love.

How am I 25? How can I reflect upon a year? I do know it's been a bit different than the preceding twenty-four. I also know I've learned the most about this lady I am --what I like, do not like, what I endeavor, what physically lightens my being and tilts my chin upward just so, what makes me curl into a soft, shaking ball hugging my sides to still the fear.

Tender. I've become tenderhearted and if this wave of emotions was somehow hidden, saved to be gently introduced to me in my mid twenties, I face it gracefully. I often become so joyous, I cry a little and it's okay. To me it means patience, bravery, and wisdom. Being at peace with my emotions and seeing them as familiar companions, teachers, entities I do not need to be afraid of, always will be my most colossal triumph.

And if I've softened some inside, my physical body has strengthened. I've never felt so strong and healthy before. I've never felt so graceful. I've never been so able. And this is strange and new to me -- loving curves, respecting muscle, being proud of leanness, smiling upon softness. Balance -- the most challenging and fruitful mantra. 

A year from now will be my golden birthday. What will I look like then? I will be married and 6 months in to being a wife, a person I hope I get to know who beams with loveliness in everything she does. I hope to continue my writing because it is my joy. I hope to create anything my hands are able -- photos, art books, crocheting, home decor. Perhaps we'll be talking about little ones. Perhaps we'll have our first home.

25 here we are.
Here I am.

Honey thoughts.

Those sweet sweet reflections that summon pulls of nostalgia. A melange of things, really. I've been quick to jot them down so they can't wander away again. And they've filled up the first several pages of my pocketbook. I like to note them as honey thoughts. Some are too sacred for this space, but there are a few I'd like to share. 

--

On gray, murky days, tracing rain drops on the inside of  the car window as they travel diagonally across the glass. Pinning one drop against the other -- seeing who wins.

How my mama used to play piano on the steering wheel to a certain oldies tune. And I'd giggle at her accuracy.

Sitting in Grandma's suitcase, hair a mess, bottle dangling from my lips, pretending it was my personal bed. And dozing off each time amongst her Chanel No. 5 scented dresses.

Peanut butter sandwiches while I was sick. And only peanut butter sandwiches.

He and I. Taking a walk in the field on a breezy, warm mid-spring day.

--

Do you have any honey thoughts?

Busy, busy.

01. A bit of a red lip for my Seahawks champs!
02. Quiet nights in, laughing and spending good, good time.
03. Caught him asleep on the couch one night, just like that.

04. A date at our new favorite Mediterranean spot.

Aw man. I really can't kick this busy thing can I.

I had thought, perhaps, the holidays were the culprit of keeping me very occupied, and they were in the loveliest of ways, but one good thing transitions into another like water. I am up to my ears in wedding details and plans, envelopes and color swatches, stamps and flowers and lists! Lists in abundance -- scratched out, checked off, beautifully messy lists. Good thing they're my favorite way to go about detailing. It's quite fun, now that we've got the big decisions out of the way.

See, for weeks I didn't know that was up, some absent thing seeming off and tonight, as I sit on my couch sipping coffee from our shiny new Keurig v2.0 (faaaaancy) I've got it, I think. All this talk of wanting to create and giving myself more space and time to do so, doesn't count if all I do is think about it making it happen. Thoughts aren't things actually, unless you make them so. And these swirling around in all that head space should be things because oh are they lovely.

One of my favorite thoughts are of my art journal. Which I think I'll dash off to work on now. I hope your Sunday was as lazily productive as mine!

A 2015 Manifesto.

with purpose. with intention -- a responsive and proactive head-space. 

simplify, simplify, simplify.

live mindfully, or, continue to at least.

and gracefully.

photograph, journal, create, write.

read and read abundantly.

want less.

hydrate.

be the loveliest bride and wife I can be.

this.