25 years of you.

We celebrated your 25th birthday on Saturday, mon amour. Yes, Valentine's day too -- which I've always thought to be charming. But your birthday first. Always first.

Always first because I get love day with you every day. And I am eager to see the vastness of all the other love days. A warm day in June. A busy day where we just miss each other and there's only time for good morning-see you laters and hello-goodnights. A day so full of bits of things and dancing in the living room to sounds from the perfectly intimate speakers of our Crosley. An evening where our eyes both synch shut as our tired heads hit the pillows, reaching for a spot to touch -- an arm, a leg, on the cusp of unconsciousness, and then sleep. I get to have all these love days with you, and you with I.  Naturally, all I wanted was to love on you for your birthday.

So I hope your birthday was as sweet as mine. Though you weren't feeling well, and though we had an early night, you were joyful. And I fill with joy when you do -- sniffles and all.

I love you my 25 year old (very) soon to be husband.

25!

A few snaps from my birthday weekend. Absolutely spoiled by everyone I love.

How am I 25? How can I reflect upon a year? I do know it's been a bit different than the preceding twenty-four. I also know I've learned the most about this lady I am --what I like, do not like, what I endeavor, what physically lightens my being and tilts my chin upward just so, what makes me curl into a soft, shaking ball hugging my sides to still the fear.

Tender. I've become tenderhearted and if this wave of emotions was somehow hidden, saved to be gently introduced to me in my mid twenties, I face it gracefully. I often become so joyous, I cry a little and it's okay. To me it means patience, bravery, and wisdom. Being at peace with my emotions and seeing them as familiar companions, teachers, entities I do not need to be afraid of, always will be my most colossal triumph.

And if I've softened some inside, my physical body has strengthened. I've never felt so strong and healthy before. I've never felt so graceful. I've never been so able. And this is strange and new to me -- loving curves, respecting muscle, being proud of leanness, smiling upon softness. Balance -- the most challenging and fruitful mantra. 

A year from now will be my golden birthday. What will I look like then? I will be married and 6 months in to being a wife, a person I hope I get to know who beams with loveliness in everything she does. I hope to continue my writing because it is my joy. I hope to create anything my hands are able -- photos, art books, crocheting, home decor. Perhaps we'll be talking about little ones. Perhaps we'll have our first home.

25 here we are.
Here I am.

Love day.

We had quite the lovely Valentine’s Day last weekend, and I must include it was also Daniel’s birthday because it’ll always be his birthday more. It has gotten to a point where I almost need to count on my fingers how many Valentines we’ve spent together and even though we've reached lucky number 7, it was just as sweet. I remember how he hid a promise ring for me in a plant on our first Valentine’s Day together. Or how we shooed his parents upstairs so we could have some fettuccine with homemade alfredo sauce straight out of the tub from Costco. Or how we completed the night by watching Across the Universe and ate chocolate covered strawberries with "Strawberry Fields Forever" playing softly in the background as we laughed and acted like the freshly turned 18-year-olds we were.

This year, though we may have had to work, though we were greeted with the same struggle of trying to go out on his birthday while every other couple would be doing the same thing, and even though we decided on going to the gym and then having some teriyaki with my parents, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. The next morning was breakfast at our favorite corner bakery, a movie, then dinner, and froyo. We like to do holidays big, because blessings are meant to be celebrated. These are a part of his Valentine’s Day gift; letters to open during any situation. Yes, handwritten letters on stationary including envelopes you have to lick to secure because technology has ruined some of the most special things in life. Anyway, a few are: open when you need comfort, open when you need a laugh, and open when you turn 24 years old.

Love should be celebrated all the time, and I’m so thankful to have a life full to the brim of it with this sweet man. I hope you all had just as perfect a love day as we did.