3.25.2014

Fear // Love Yourself Tuesday



The photo on the left was taken about two years ago. I remember how absolutely thrilling it was up there with so much beauty in front of me. It felt freeing, and I could physically feel my stress flowing out of my pores and into the clouds. The one on the right was taken this past weekend on the same lovely hike with Daniel in the same spot, on the same boulder at the top. I couldn't even will my feet as close as I was last time, my body was just not having it. It was NOPE city and I was mayor. But the difference is in the girl. I was confused because I didn't know why I was so afraid of just walking around up there and I started to get frustrated. I mean, I was fine last time. But then I stopped and realized it felt good to be afraid of something so typical. I actually laughed at myself. I got used to the altitude and loosened up a bit, but for one blessed moment, I was thoroughly present and reminded that I am indeed human.

Two years ago, being easily overwhelmed by small things everywhere, feeling suffocated and closed-in when too many things happened at once. Pretty much non-stop worry about the future. Then now, being able to breathe again and actually get a chance to be afraid of normal things. Life is funny sometimes.

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