3.18.2014

How To Be Okay // Love Yourself Tuesday

I love that it's becoming easier for me to just be alright. To just be okay. I'm not perfect, I'm not in an eternal state of happiness, nor do I want to be, nor am I seeking that. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful to feel happiness, but people often forget there's other feelings that come and go. Good emotions don't stick around forever. Trust me, when I found out life doesn't roll that way, not even close, I freaked out. You'd be surprised how difficult it is to be alright at times instead of searching for ways to feel, figuring out answers to every question, always seeking that high of happiness, perfection, utopia. How difficult it is to leave things be. I struggled. I'm still working on it, but these are all practices I've applied day to day for my growth from an anxious girl, to a resilient woman.

1. Celebrate little things. Like tiny little joys. You got out of bed this morning, you had a salad today, you indulged in that chocolate truffle, your show just happens to be on as you sit down to unwind, the blanket is keeping you at just the right temperature, you hit an even number at the gas pump, your makeup looks lovely today. Your bare face looks lovely today. Life is all about these little in-betweens that deserve attention too. If you keep chasing the for the infinite level of satisfaction, what happens when you get there? Then what?

2. Woosah time! Really find moments to be content with yourself. Don't try and conjure up some intense happy emotion here; just be. Look at each part of your body you'd otherwise judge and be okay with them. Be okay with yourself in that moment and be okay if you decide you need improvement, that it'll come in time as long as you do it with love. Be gentle with yourself.

3. Meditate! Tune in with yourself and what's around you. Focus on your breathing or on noises or scents. Live here, right now. Right now. It is extremely difficult to be in the moment. If it was an easy thing, no one would ever struggle. Living in the past is a waste of time and living in the future is not reality so why ruin what is with what was or what could be? Good things, bad things, alright things, they all ebb and flow. Seeing this with nonjudgmental eyes is an important start. You'll be alright.

4. Start a fun and completely mindless project. Mess up and embrace it as art. Don't start over. Don't rush to get it all done. Give your brain a rest and completely allow yourself to let go into what you're doing in that moment. Play some lovely chill tunes like Bon Iver or The xx. Your thoughts are a washing machine all day long and your mind needs to come off spin cycle eventually.

5. Be accepting and compassionate with yourself. Life can be pretty miserable if you're constantly scrutinizing on your body, your being, and your soul. If you don't shed warm light on your imperfections, if your inward thoughts are cruel, how will you ever have the capability to be accepting of others in your world? You're the only thing that sticks around from the beginning to end. Your life is adorned with really really good things, and it's important to embrace those, but when it comes down to it, you have you. And that's not meant to be something scary, it should be something beautiful.

6. Finally, the one mindset that has been life changing for me. Everything got better when I figured this out and I wish everyone could spend some time on this. Stop trying. Stop trying to be positive. Stop trying to be happy. Stop trying to be anything you think you should be. The problem is in the trying, because when you're trying too much, you lose yourself and miss out on what you already are. And you may find that it isn't so bad to be you after all. When you stop trying to feel, to be, to have, to know all of these things, they will all come to you. I promise.

9 comments:

  1. such a great post, girl. always recognize & celebrate the little things!

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    1. Thanks lovely! I think this must be why we love thrifting too. Little things galore! :)

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  2. Each one of these pointers are so spot on! What a beautiful post love.

    xo

    Michaela

    http://michaelajeanblog.com

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    1. I am so glad you could relate, it's something I feel very passionately about. Your blog is beautiful by the way!

      -M

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  3. So perfect. I 100% agree with you. I'm pinning this so I can re-read it whenever :)) Great Advice!!

    http://everythingsalwayssunny.com
    Kristin xx

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    1. Oh goodness, thank you! I'm happy it offered comfort and I am beyond thrilled you're pinning it! :)

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  4. I saw this blog post title in my news feed when you first posted it; I just had to read it since I've had some anxiety flare-ups lately. It's some of the best advice on confronting anxiety that I've found so far, so I keep coming back to it to remind myself. Thank you! :)

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    1. Erin, I'm so happy it helps you and thank you for taking the time to let me know! That means so much. I'm also glad you commented because it reminded me I posted it. Anxiety has been creeping up on me too. I hope you feel better and just remember that time soothes everything, even when you think it will not. It will. Here's a quote that's been very helpful lately and I read it often:

      "Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won't.)."

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  5. I love this. I stumbled across your Instagram a few months ago and then your blog. I read this post then and keep thinking about it and re reading it for encouragement, when everything feels too much. Thank you!

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